What am I doing?
What am I doing with my life?
And what do I want?
Sometimes, I think I have a clue about what I’m doing, about what I want. I know who I want to be, what I want to become, I figured that out when I was 12. But what am I doing with my life?
I know I have not made great use of my existance yet (for the past 17 years). I have a dream but I have no goals. I expect life to magically make my dreams come true without setting myself any goals. I’m delusional in a way, a dreamer, but not a doer. Am I really just a dreamer? Or am I made up of more than just this? It’s pathetic how we fantasise about this better life we wish to live reeking of success that will make any parent proud, and yet when it comes to working hard, sweat and tears towards that dream that we want to achieve so badly, we fail at complying to even the littlest of things, the littlest of progress. It’s as though making that small first step is like entering a dangerous zone. You see, when we enter danegrous zones in life we are aware that something bad may and is about to happen, danger is always around the corner. It’s the same with deciding to make small advances on whatever we want to achieve. When we make those small first steps, we are conscious that things are about to get tough, that the journey won’t be easy because it will require hard work, determination, focus and perseverence. That is why we avoid those steps, as small as they may be, we are afraid of falling into that trap of all the qualites that are required but that of which most of us lack in or are not prepared to commit to yet.
What am I doing?